Difficult Choices
by rianess
Summary: AU, not OOTP or HBP Compliant. A Slytherin debates her options before graduation. Will she serve the Dark Lord, or the Light? Will anyone help a stranger? M for language. SSXOC, SBRL. HHr.
1. Part One

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Harry Potter. **

**A/N: I trying to think of ideas for my other fics, when this one popped into my head, and wouldn't leave me alone. I am very dubious as to its viability as a story, but thought, what the hell! It might end up a three-parter. **

**And away we go.**

* * *

**Difficult Choices**

* * *

Part One - Escape

* * *

"One need not be a chamber to be haunted;  
One need not be a house;  
The brain has corridors surpassing  
Material place."

**Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886)**

* * *

Miharu Arutani watched from the relative quiet of the Slytherin table, as the boisterous Gryffindors laughed and joked their way through the evening meal. And who could blame them? It was the end of the Summer Term, and for the Seventh years, like herself, the end of their Hogwarts' education. She only wished she could feel so joyous, so excited, as they appeared to be.

Oh she knew some of it was a façade or sheer bravado, at least to some extent. The War was by no means won, and the Light was by no means guaranteed the victor. She smiled very faintly, as she imagined the looks of incredulity she would be met with, if those rambunctious and self-righteous Gryffindors ever found out the truth about her and her housemates. They were all regarded as Deatheaters in training, vilified and shunned by the rest of the school. Their Head of House their only defender. But it wasn't like that, they weren't like that. At least, not all of them.

Raised in staunch pureblood society, born to wealth and privilege, they were expected to follow their parent's Master, supposedly to secure the power and future of pureblood wizarding kind. But that wasn't what would happen, they had all seen enough to understand the truth of what was expected of them. And that was why their table was so quiet tonight. For tomorrow, they would not be going out into the world, with their magical education complete, bright futures ahead of them, the world their oyster….No.

Tomorrow they would be willingly handed over by their parents to the Dark Lord, entering the profoundest slavery imaginable.

Half of them would probably be dead in a month, and none of them at the hands of their supposed enemies.

For the boys, it would probably be at the whim of the Dark Lord, for his entertainment. Or, it would be in his torture chambers or 'pleasure rooms', for the satisfaction of his followers. Rewards for their faithful service.

For the girls, most of them had been promised in marriage to various Deatheaters, as a way of continuing the bloodlines of the faithful. Pansy was one of the luckier ones; she was engaged by contract to Draco Malfoy, who was nothing like his Father, underneath. Oh, on the surface he played the devoted heir, and arrogant bastard, but on the inside, he was a good man. A gentle, intelligent, decent man. The scathing wit and the sarcasm were real, true, but he never meant any of it seriously, it was all just for a laugh, for fun.

Millicent too, had had a narrow escape. Unknown to many, she had appealed to a distant relative, and before graduation, she would be portkeying to the United States. Voldemort's arm was nowhere near that long. He had a few contacts in Europe, but the Ministry of Magic in America was fierce about protecting its citizens, so she would be out of reach.

The others, she was not so sure of their fate. She kept to herself, not wanting to draw any attention, not wanting to stand out. Her family was pureblood, of course, and had a long history, equal to the Malfoy's and of similar wealth. But they had never dabbled in politics. Instead, they kept to the shadows, furthering their aims by the most underhanded and blackest of schemes. One might say she was the white sheep of her family. She was a Slytherin to the core, the Hat had not been mistaken in her placement, but she was not a killer. She was not evil, and she took no pleasure in the suffering and pain of others, whether they be wizard, muggle, halfblood, muggleborn or creature.

She did not think herself superior to anyone, for the simple chance of being born into such a family as hers. Quite the opposite in fact. She had no small amount of envy for the muggleborn students, whose parents so clearly loved and supported them, even when something so confusing and scary as magic entered their lives.

As for her, she did not think she would last the week. Her parents would not grace the school with their presence to see their only daughter graduate, oh no, they were busy. She would ride the train back to King's Cross and be collected by a servant.

She was not disappointed when she read their missive, advising her of their decision. Oh no, the Slytherin in her saw it for what it really was: escape.

This was her chance.

* * *

On hearing who her parents had happily signed over her future to, Miharu had realised she only had two choices: stay and die at the hands of her future husband, or flee and probably die at the hands of her parents or their Master.

Needless to say, neither of these options was very appealing. So, she took the bit between her teeth and began looking for a third option. She would not willingly bow down and be traded off to a murderer and a sadist.

After some reflection, she came up with a few ideas. Being an organised sort, she wrote them down, with the strongest privacy charm she knew, tied into her own signature. To anyone who looked, it would seem a harmless scrap of parchment with schoolgirl doodles on it. Sitting on her bed in the dormitory, curtains drawn, she pulled out the list and re-read it, along with the comments she'd added.

* * *

1: Approach Professor Snape – _However, Snape is a Deatheater. His loyalties are suspect, as he could be working for Dumbledore. Could be safest bet, but still risky. _

2: Approach Dumbledore for sanctuary – _This would open self up to the old coot's manipulation, and could lead to more danger than marriage. Best to come back to this one later. _

3: Void Marriage Contract somehow, and ask Ministry for help – _Need to research contract and read fine print. Must obtain copy. _

4: Kill myself – _A bit drastic, but better than the wedding. _

5: Appeal to sappy Gryffindor side of Potter or a Potter-Crony – _Yikes. _

* * *

She sighed as she went over her options. They were all quite bleak. Especially numbers four and five. Since she had written the list, she'd managed to get a copy of the wedding agreement from her parents, citing her wish to become well versed in her new duties, to please her husband. The idiots swallowed it hook-line-and-sinker. She laughed internally at the muggle phrasing. She often wondered if there had been a mix up at the hospital, and that she wasn't actually an Arutani.

The years of inbreeding and cousins marrying had produced a line of degenerative fuckwits, with less than three brain cells to rub together between them. She wasn't claiming to be a genius, or hugely book-smart like Granger, but she wasn't Crabbe or Goyle either. Perhaps the genetic denigration decided to skip a generation. She was sure she would never know.

The only way to void the marriage contract, would be if she was 'sullied', she found. She was expected to reach the marriage bed a virgin. Losing her virginity would not be a problem at Hogwarts. She was no beauty, but she could easily claim the appellation 'attractive'. And let's face it, boys are easy. Particularly if you made sure they knew you didn't expect anything from them afterwards.

However, losing her virginity and then letting her husband discover it on their wedding night would not only give grounds for an annulment, it would ensure she ended up dead. She had no illusions that she would be allowed a quick death either. So, there had to be another way.

* * *

After hours of contemplation, she finally deduced the only way she could seek a breaking of the contract and have a chance of survival. She would have to lose her virginity, and ensure she wound up pregnant. It would be the only way. No one could argue it. An examination by a healer could show she wasn't a virgin, but healers could be silenced. A baby would be definitive proof, and the Ministry would have to accede to her wishes.

But then, could she bring a baby into this world? As a bastard? In the middle of the War? Let alone the fact that the reasons for its conception were less than honourable, if for a good cause. She wouldn't have to worry about money, she had a nice inheritance from her paternal grandmother, who, after marrying into the deranged Arutani family decided a contingency fund would be a good idea. It was completely cut off from her parents, and now she was seventeen, it was all hers.

But could she really do it?

Option four was looking more and more tempting by the day.

* * *

As the Farewell Feast wound down, Miharu decided now was the time to try option two. She had to give her Headmaster the benefit of the doubt, and make her appeal. She looked to the Head Table and could see Professor Snape had long since left, not being one for prolonged festivities. It wasn't very late, though, and she still had a while until Seventh Year curfew. As it was their last night and all, they were told they were allowed some laxity, not being students anymore. Her eyes followed Dumbledore as he smoothly exited the Great Hall through the door the staff sometimes used.

She got up and made her way towards the doors at the other end of the hall, her pace sedate and unhurried. Not really being popular, none of her housemates or any of the other students really noticed her passing.

Once she was clear of the Entrance Hall, she increased her speed to a swift walk, covering the distance to the Headmaster's office as quickly as she could. When she reached the gargoyle, she drew a steadying breath, her hand resting on her rapidly beating heart. She could feel her body's reaction to the adrenaline pumping in her veins, as the nerves claimed her. She drew on her hard-won control, and cleared her mind, just as she'd read in the Professor's books. She said the password in a cool voice.

"Fizzing Whizbee"

There was the sound of stone moving on stone, as the gargoyle slid out of the way to reveal the spiral staircase which lead to the fabled office. In all her time at Hogwarts, she'd never been called here. She'd asked Draco for the password earlier, not citing her reasons. He wasn't stupid, nor was he the Prince of Slytherin for nothing. He'd looked at her for a long moment, sympathy evident in his eyes.

"Good luck Miharu." He'd murmured, before walking off, striding quickly through the corridors. He knew her reasons for doing what she was about to do, and he didn't try and stop her. After all, he knew who she was promised to, and privately he had about the same estimations for her life expectancy as she did.

Drawn back into the present by a jolt as the stairs stopped, she braced herself once more, before knocking loudly on the wooden panels in front of her.

"Come." Called the voice of the old man, and she hesitantly turned the door handle. She kept her face cool as she entered, but she felt a cold stab of fear pierce her heart when she saw who was in the office with Dumbledore.

Professor Snape.

"_Shit, shit, shit_." She thought, but there was no turning back now.

* * *

"Ah, Miss…" Albus searched for a name, but he didn't recognise this student. He robes revealed her to be one of Severus' snakes, so he looked to the younger man for this girl's identity.

"Arutani. Miharu Arutani." Severus supplied, frowning slightly at the Slytherin girl, and Albus nodded benignly.

"Miss Arutani, welcome. What can I do for you? Lemon drop?" The Headmaster asked, not very pleased by her interruption, but hiding it well.

"No thank you sir. I'll just get straight to the point, shall I?" She asked calmly, outwardly serene, but inwardly quaking in her boots, er, shoes. Both men nodded, and she took another deep breath, releasing it slowly, looking down at her hands.

"Tomorrow, I leave here, this being my last year. My parents are Deatheaters, I won't lie about it. They want me to take the Dark Mark, right before they marry me off to one of the faithful. I have no wish to follow my parents' Master, or commit the atrocities they favour. However, if I refuse, they will kill me. I come here, to ask for Sanctuary." She declared, raising a proud face, her steady gaze on both men. Severus sucked in a quick breath, but quickly schooled his features into neutrality.

He was shocked however; the Arutanis had a worse reputation than the Blacks or the Malfoys. He had no idea that this child, no, young woman, had any desire other than to follow in the footsteps of her sadistic forbearers. He quietly chided himself for not paying enough attention to his student. She'd always been so quiet, he hadn't bothered to try and sway her; sure she was a lost cause. It didn't sit well with him that he was wrong, or that he had been lax in his duty to her.

Severus turned to look at the Headmaster, and was not pleased by what he read in the old man's eyes. He was sitting at his desk, his fingers steepled under his chin, with a calculating expression that the Potions Master recognised all too well.

"My dear child, I would be happy to offer you the shelter you seek, and vouch for you when the War is won." He began, and Severus and Miharu inwardly groaned. Miharu knew then, what Dumbledore wanted, and she knew she couldn't give it to him. The odds of him helping her plummeted drastically. Albus continued. "However, we are in desperate need of information. You could be a valuable asset to the Order, were you to join." He said and Miharu winced.

"I cannot do what you ask, Headmaster, it is impossible." She replied and she saw the flash of irritation in his eyes.

"And why is that?" He asked, in a voice less benevolent than before. She sighed and repressed the urged to slump in her chair.

"For one thing, if I am lying, He will know. If I intend to spy on Him, He will read it in my mind. And I'll be killed on the spot." She answered and Dumbledore frowned. Snape watched this by-play with growing fear. Miss Arutani was right; she could not spy for the Order. But he new Albus would not shelter one of the Slytherins, without a price. A price he would not demand from any of the other Houses, just his.

Very few Ravenclaws, Gryffindors or Hufflepufs became Deatheaters. And very few were so highly placed in society. For Albus, being presented with a Slytherin who'd 'turned', as he put it, was like being presented with a roomful of those blasted Lemon Drops. It was irresistible, and he intended to wring every drop of use he could, out of this Deatheater's child.

"Severus can teach you to shield your mind child, and protect it from Voldemort." Dumbledore asserted and Severus felt like snarling.

"In one night, Headmaster? Miss Arutani is scheduled to return to her family tomorrow." He protested. Before the old coot could speak, Miharu cut in.

"I am already a Master Occlumens. That is not the point. The point is, that if I am allowed to be wed to my adoring fiancé, I will be dead within the week." She declared and both men frowned at her.

"Who are you promised to, Miss Arutani?" Severus inquired politely. She grimaced.

"Walden McNair." She replied darkly.

This time, Snape did not repress the shock and outrage in his face as he turned to the Headmaster.

"I thought he was already married." Dumbledore countered and Snape practically hissed at him.

"His third wife died at his hands, about six months ago, in the same manner as his first and second wife." He explained, and Dumbledore made a 'Go on' motion with his hands.

"All three were beaten and raped to death, their bodies then preserved for his other…entertainments. I told you before, I think, that these arrangements are intended to produce children for the faithful, to be raised in the Dark Lord's way." Severus paused while he glanced at the proud face of his student. "However, McNair doesn't keep them alive long enough to bear children. He has his heir, from his first wife, these other women are just for his amusement." He finished, again looking at the young woman who was trying to avoid such a fate. She was gazing at him, terror and resignation in her eyes.

"Surely Tom will not allow one of his followers to be killed so needlessly." Dumbledore insisted and both Slytherins spun around, incredulity spread across their faces. Miharu slammed her hand down on the old man's desk, surprising both wizards with her outburst.

"What are you not getting about this sir? I am not special. I have no particular gift that the Dark Lord wishes to exploit. I am not weak, but I am no more powerful than any of his other servants. I have nothing to distinguish myself in his eyes. I am merely flesh, to be exploited at his will, a reward for one of his Inner Circle." She got up, obviously deciding there was no Sanctuary to be found here. "It is obvious you will not help me, for if I were to do what you ask, I would be walking towards a slow and agonising death. Goodbye Headmaster." She spat, and stalked out of the office.

There was a moment of silence, before Severus spoke.

"Are you completely out of your mind? She was asking for help, and you turned her away! Sometimes, I really do not understand you Albus. I really don't. Sure, she would not spy, but did you think about what she could possibly already know? Her parents have been with the Dark Lord since the beginning. She is a quiet young woman, so quiet that few notice her presence. Just imagine, for a moment, what she may have overheard. Now, imagine what you've just lost." He said all this in a quiet, deadly voice, before he too got up, and walked away.

Dumbledore was angry with the younger man for his disrespectful outburst, but he let it be, for now. He was glad to have gotten rid of that ugly child, he did not want people like her messing up his plans, or his reputation. He was already disgusted with himself for sheltering one Slytherin, however useful he might be. He had no plans to take in another of the slimy creatures.

* * *

Miharu didn't stop until she was safely back in the dungeons. It was a rule that Slytherins should not wander the upper levels by themselves at night, or even during the day, if it could be avoided. Once they were back in the snake pit, they were safe, protected. But up there, they were likely to bump into the groups of the other houses who bullied the Slytherins for sport. More than a few learned that lesson the hard way.

She reached a short corridor, and paused leaning against the wall. She tried to calm her racing heart, but her emotions were beginning to get the better of her. She could feel the tears, just on the edge, waiting to spill, wanting to be released. All the fear and tension which had been holding her for the last few months, was bubbling up inside, and did not want to be repressed again. She heard footsteps approaching rapidly, and looked around, suddenly realising where she was.

Professor Snape's corridor.

His chambers were here, and he did not like to be disturbed. She sniffed as she heard him getting closer, the swish of his famous robes in time with his long stride. She looked about rapidly, trying to find a way out before he saw her here, but realising that she would not be able to get away time. She cursed softly, and wiped her face, annoyed by the telltale wetness there. She straightened, ready to face this ordeal head on.

* * *

She knew the moment he spotted her, there was a slight change in the sound of his boots hitting the stone floor, almost like a hesitation. It was only a split second, before they resumed their relentless pace.

Severus stopped in front of his ex-student, and quickly swept an assessing look over her. His eyes took in her slightly dishevelled robes, not missing the expensive fabric and the obviously tailored cut. She did play the part well, after all. He also noticed the redness and puffiness of her skin, particularly round her eyes. She'd obviously stumbled down here, and didn't realise where she was. He was well aware that his snakes had feelings and could cry, but they usually did it in private. From the mortification evident in her expression, she had not expected anyone to see such a display. He thought about it for a moment, before beckoning her, and opening the door to his private rooms.

* * *

"Sit, Miss Arutani." He said, gesturing to the comfortable green sofa. She sat gracefully, and folded her hands in her lap. He studied her for a moment, before chuckling darkly. "Goodness child, it's not tea with the Queen. Relax Miharu." He said the last part softly, before conjuring a tea tray and sitting in his favourite armchair. She looked at the tray for a moment, before glancing up at him.

"Do you have anything stronger?" She asked quietly and he frowned for a moment, before shrugging. She was of age, and she was not his student anymore. He summoned a bottle of Ogden's finest, and two glasses, before banishing the tea tray. He poured for both of them, before sitting back in his chair. Miharu took a long swig, making a face at the taste, and Severus was mildly impressed when she didn't start coughing at the kick of the firewhiskey. She relaxed, as he'd asked, and leaned backwards, slumping slightly into the squashy cushions.

"Looks like I'm done for. It'll have to be option four after all." She mumbled, but he heard her.

"Option four?" He asked, and she flicked a glance at him. In her turbulent state, the whiskey was having a strong effect on her, and she was becoming intoxicated a lot quicker than she might have done otherwise. Especially with the way she was gulping it down. She took another slip and pulled a scrap of parchment from her robes. She thrust it at him, and he took it, wondering what it was. He frowned as all he saw were doodles, and turned back to her.

"Miss Arutani, I can't read this." He protested, and she snorted into her glass. Clearly pureblood manners didn't stand up to such inebriation. She pulled at her wand and tapped the parchment, mumbling a '_Finite Incantatum_'. He pulled it back as she put her wand back up her sleeve and quickly scanned its contents. He inwardly winced as he read the first and second options. The third had possibilities, the fourth…he sucked in a breath as he read it and shook his head unconsciously. She would NOT be taking the fourth option if he had anything to do with it, and the fifth…well, he agreed with her assessment. Yikes.

Then again...

Black and Lupin were at the school, and although they were Order members, and could conceivably be called 'Potter-Cronies', Potter had lately been distancing himself from the Headmaster. Subtly, and in an altogether Slytherin way. But he was slowly succeeding. Perhaps he could speak to the mutts, or persuade Miss Arutani to go and see them? They would be highly suspicious, but if Potter was there, he could force them to at least be reasonable. At worst, they would place her under house arrest, and he knew she would not object much to such a fate. Desperation was often a strong motivator. And prospects such as hers would no doubt inspire desperation. But what about option three?

"Miss Arutani, Miharu. How far did you get with the Marriage Contract?" He asked and looked over at her. Clearly, she'd refilled her glass a time or two, and he decided now might be a good time to remove it from her. He summoned it, not wanting to get slapped, and she whimpered in protest. It was only half hearted however, and she slowly sat up to answer his question.

"Well, I read the fine print, and ther'sh only one way out of it. Gotta be 'sullied'." She hiccoughed, before continuing. "But, don't wanna get to hish bed, and be all like, 'Ha! Not a virgin no more!' Cos, he'd kill me. So, no can do." She explained, and he frowned again. He sat back in his chair, the list still in his hands, absently mindedly sipping his drink. He didn't notice when she refilled it, his mind was wandering over her dilemma.

* * *

After an hour or so, he threw the list into the fire, and drained his glass. Getting up, intending to go to bed, he started in surprise when he saw Miss Arutani was curled up on his sofa. He'd completely forgotten about her. He wobbled a bit and realised he was far more intoxicated that he'd bargained for, and lurched over unsteadily to wake her.

"Miss Arutani. Wake up, it'sh way pasht curfew." He said, irritated with himself for slurring his words. He hadn't been this drunk in ages. He shook her gently and she stirred.

"Professor?" She asked, rubbing her eyes before opening them. She smiled as she looked at his face, the whiskey in her veins overriding all her common sense. "You know, you have lovely eyes. I'm shure you hear it all the time. And your voice…sweet Merlin! You should go on one of thosh muggle sex lines, you'd make a bloody fortune!" She said. He smiled, a warm glow spreading throughout his body at her compliments. A small part of his brain reminded him he was being a twit, but he ignored it. She sat up and lost her balance. He tried, unsuccessfully, to catch her, and they ended up in a crumpled heap, half on the sofa and half on the floor.

Severus was finding it hard to cope with the sensations of having such a young and warm female body pressed against him, and in such an intimate way. His mind was starting to cloud over with desire and his reasoning was being muddled by the potent alcohol he'd consumed. It had been so long, his need was almost insurmountable. He knew this was a very bad idea, but he didn't protest when she leaned in, and pressed her lips to his.

* * *

Miharu woke very early, a throbbing pain in her head, and in unfamiliar surroundings. She sat up slowly, one hand pressed to her forehead in a futile attempt to banish the pain. She looked around and tried to figure out where she was. A few things came to her immediate notice.

1: She was naked.

2: This was not her room.

3: There was someone else in the bed.

_Fuck. _

4: That someone was Professor Snape.

She shifted her legs and immediately winced at the pain in between them. She realised then what must have happened. She'd lost her virginity to Snape! Of all people! She tried to remember, but it was all a blur…the firewhiskey! Oh, she'd been plastered! And so had he.

_Fuck. _

She got up slowly, trying not to wake him. He was sleeping on his front, hands under his pillow, his head resting on it. He was snoring softly, completely dead to the world. She was slightly sympathetic to the hangover he would surely have when he woke, if hers was anything to go by. If he woke with her here, it would be a disaster. She didn't want to have a huge argument, or have to deal with his sneering and sniping, which he surely would, if he discovered her in his bed. She pulled the duvet back carefully, and saw the thin trail of blood on the sheets. Her blood. Miharu gulped in fear.

Once she was safely out of the bed and had retrieved her wand, she silently summoned her clothes. Making sure to _scourgify _the blood from the cotton sheets, she dressed quickly, and was away just before dawn broke. She would have to wangle a hangover potion from Draco, as she could not risk taking one of the Professor's. Still no further along in her plan, other than losing her innocence, she tumbled into bed, and tried to sleep.

* * *

Miharu awoke again, a couple of hours later, feeling slightly better than she did earlier, but still feeling quite nauseous. She stumbled into the bathroom, and took a long drink from the tap, looking up into the mirror at her dishevelled state.

"You look a mess dear." Advised the mirror.

"Thanks." She replied, before turning the tap off and getting into the shower cubicle. She turned on the water and relaxed under the hot spray. Something about last night was bothering her, aside from the obvious. Something she had done, other than shagging her Professor (which she admitted was bad enough in itself). The memory was just there, on the surface, teasing her. But no matter how hard she tried to grasp it, it slithered away. She sighed and began washing her hair, idly noticing she was running out of hair potion…potion…that was it! She had taken the Fertility Potion before dinner. It was a last resort, contingency plan. She had in no way imagined she would actually get laid, it had just felt good to actually do something, even if it was incredibly stupid.

Shit! Unless they used some protection, there was an extremely high chance she was pregnant. With Snape's baby. She felt like banging her head against the tiled wall.

What the bloody hell was she supposed to do now?

* * *

After showering and dressing, she thought on her problems as she walked to the Great Hall for breakfast. Her headache was gone, thanks to a potion from Pansy. She had actually looked up whether it could be dangerous for a pregnant woman before she asked for it. She had no idea how she felt about the possibility of a baby, but Miharu knew she had to keep her options open. As she sat with her housemates, she scanned the Head Table. Snape was there, looking pissed off, but no more than usual. The young Slytherin wasn't sure how much he would have remembered, and she had been in a rush when she left. She hoped she'd got rid of the evidence, but there was no way she could have made a thorough check.

Miharu let her gazed wander over the other faces, pausing for a moment in anger when it settled on the Headmaster. Not wanting the old man to notice her ire, she quickly moved on. Her gazed paused for a moment, when it rested on Professor Lupin. He was sitting with his friend, Sirius Black, who stood in for the werewolf on the full moons. They were chatting back and forth, smiling and laughing while they ate. She saw them both stop talking and wave, looking towards the entrance. The young witch followed their eyes and saw Harry Potter and his friends walking in, waving back at the two Professors.

There was only one option left to try. She considered all of the Potter-Cronies, and finally settled on Lupin. He might be many things, but his was a kind, gentle soul, despite the wolf within. Miharu was out time and ideas. She would have to throw herself on the mercy of Potter.

Resigning herself to her fate, she mentally prepared herself for the conversation to come. She would have to be upfront and honest with them, to the point of bluntness. The Slytherin in her scoffed at having to open herself up to these Gryffindors. But it seemed they were her only hope.

She should have gone with option four.

* * *

Not long after breakfast, Miharu walked swiftly towards the Defence classroom. There was no point delaying the inevitable, and she knew Lupin would be in there, as she heard him and Black talking as they left the Great Hall. Her belongings were in her trunk, which was currently shrunk in her pocket. All of the jewellery her parents gave her, complete with tracking charms, were currently enjoying their new residence in the lake. The Slytherin didn't wait to talk herself out of it, so she knocked purposefully on the door, waiting impatiently for an answer. There was silence for a moment, and then, "Come in!"

Miharu opened the door and walked in, closing it softly behind her. The two Professors were sat on desks facing each other, fiddling with papers, boxes at their feet.

"Yes? How can I help you…Miss…" Sirius began, searching for a name. Miharu rolled her eyes, not bothering to hide her irritation.

"You know, I've been here for seven years, and no one outside of Slytherin remembers my name." She said, crossing her arms. Black glared back at her, his hackles up at the mention of Slytherin. Remus noticed this and looked between them, giving them both stern glances.

"Miss Arutani, is it not? Did you need something?" He asked mildly. She shifted her weight a little, still a bit cross, before slumping in defeat. She threw herself onto a chair before speaking.

"I need…help." She said in a quiet voice. Sirius snorted, still obviously wanting to make some derisive comment about her house, but held back by Lupin.

"Ah, help? What sort of help? You are to graduate today, correct?" He replied and she sighed deeply. She pressed both hands to her face, looking at the floor, before standing up and facing the two men, desperation evident in her eyes.

"Yes I will graduate today, and in two days time, I am expected to take Voldemort's Mark, and marry Walden McNair. I wish neither of these. For if I abide by my parents choices, I will be dead in less than a week. I am not a supporter of Voldemort, I do not uphold his beliefs and I find his practices and proclivities atrocious. I need Sanctuary. I wanted to ask Harry Potter, but something told me it would be better to approach you, Professor Lupin." She said it all in a dead monotone, demonstrating more eloquently the depth of her despair to the two shocked men before her.

"McNair…he's…vicious." Muttered Sirius. Remus was trying to take it all in, and a question occurred to him.

"Why did you not want to approach Harry?" He asked and she frowned.

"Honestly? A couple of things really. I didn't want to deal with Ron Weasley's accusations, and the chances of speaking to one without the other are slim at best. But also, he's graduating today. I didn't want to throw the War in his face, when he's supposed to be celebrating. It's just not right." She admitted and both men considered it. She had gained a few points with Padfoot for saying what she had about Harry, but he didn't trust her. He turned to Moony, and they exchanged a long speaking glance. Miharu waited, scared that they were going to chuck her out on her ear. She might joke about option four, but she really didn't want to go down that route. Finally they looked away from each other, and Remus turned to face her.

"Padfoot, Veritaserum." He ordered and the young Arutani heiress nodded, accepting that it was necessary. Being a trained Auror, Sirius was licensed to administer the potion, and he placed the corrected dosage on her tongue. Her eyes glazed over and they began the questioning.

"What is your name?" Remus asked, testing the potion.

"Miharu Namiyo Amaya Arutani." She replied in a flat voice. Sirius and Remus exchanged an amused glance at the names the pureblood families inflicted on their children. Although, hers weren't as bad as some.

"Where do you attend school?" Was the next question.

" Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." She answered in the same emotionless voice.

"Right, it's working. So, are you sincere in your desire not to join Voldemort or to wed Walden McNair?" Sirius took up the questioning.

"Yes."

"Do you support Voldemort?"

"No."

"Have you considered joining Voldemort?"

"No."

"Do you wish harm on Harry Potter or any of his friends, family, etcetera?"

"No."

"Will you betray us at the first available opportunity, if Voldemort gives you a better offer?"

There was a pause while the serum tried to extract an answer to this question. Sirius' gaze was intent as he looked at her.

"No."

"Why are you here?" Was the vague, quiet question from Remus.

"Because I do not wish to die slowly, in pain, raped, beaten and cursed, at the whim of a madman and a bastard." Both men flinched at the horrible words coming from such a young girl, in that terrible, dead voice. They took a moment to recover.

"Give her the antidote Padfoot." Remus said, in a tired, world weary voice. Once she had returned to normal, Miharu looked expectantly at her former teachers.

"OK, Miss Arutani, we will help you. We have a place in mind, but you'll have to speak to the Headmaster before you'll be able to get inside…" His voice trailed off as he saw her face blanch.

"What is it?" Demanded Sirius, his suspicions rising again.

"I've already spoken with Professor Dumbledore, and he said that in exchange for his help, I would have to become his spy in the Deatheater ranks." She mumbled, and the two wizards only just heard her.

"But…that's impossible! Voldemort would know! Plus, McNair won't let you live long enough to get any information, let alone bring it back to the old man. What is he thinking?" Sirius growled, getting up and pacing.

"This does present a problem then. The place we want to take you to, is under the Fidelius Charm, and he is the Secret Keeper." Remus said, crossing his arms and thinking over the problem.

"Ah, if one of you is willing, I can Legilimise the address from your mind, and you can side-apparate me into the property." She suggested timidly and both of them turned to look at her again. There was another long paused while their considered it.

"I won't ask how you became a Legilimens, but OK. Are you ready to go now?" Black asked, and she nodded, having expected this.

"When you are missing at the ceremony, Dumbledore will probably think you've fled. He will not expect you to be where we're taking you. Now, you must listen very carefully. He will be in the property at least once a month, maybe more, so you'll have to stay out of sight, do you understand?" Lupin explained and she nodded again.

"Alright, let's go. We'll use the passage into Honeydukes." Black ordered, and she followed him without a word.


	2. Part Two

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Harry Potter, or anything you recognise. **

**A/N: Thanks to DCod, AngelicVampiress and michelline for reviewing. I still have doubts about this story, but I'm just going to keep going and see what happens. Thanks!**

* * *

Part Two - Confinement

* * *

"If I can stop one Heart from breaking  
I shall not live in vain  
If I can ease one Life the Aching,  
or cool one Pain,  
Or help one fainting Robin  
into his Nest again,  
I shall not live in Vain."

**Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886) **

* * *

Miharu sat and gazed out of the dirty window in her bedroom, at Grimmauld Place. It was raining outside, and the sky was varying shades of grey. The rain made a tinkling sound as it hit the panes of glass in the window, which she found strangely comforting. The unrelenting miserable weather had held on through the last few days, despite it being nearly July. But that was English weather for you. Never predictable, except in its unpredictability.

She was wrapped in a fleecy blue blanket, which she'd purchased in January, in a sale. She'd always liked the feeling of being indoors and warm, while the rain poured down outside. The young ex-student was glad of the storm outside today, for it matched her mood. She had been in this depressing house for a month, since school had ended for the last time, at least, the last time for her. Since she had arrived, she'd not seen much of anyone, except the house elf. He seemed to be an exuberant little fellow, very independent. He was somehow affiliated with Harry Potter, and as the former Gryffindor Quidditch star had left the school, this Dobby character had decided to follow him.

Potter was staying the Weasley's Burrow, and was due to arrive at Order Headquarters this weekend. Sirius and Remus had broken their silence with her to tell her that much. She sighed, thinking of how hard her solitude had hit her. Sure, at Hogwarts she'd not been the most social of people, but she had at least interacted with her peers and teachers every day. Here she saw and spoke to no one. And it was starting to get her down.

Miharu was no fool; she knew it was two parts suspicion and one part caution on Black and Lupin's side. They didn't trust her, but yet, they didn't want the Headmaster to find out about her. And she admitted that it was a good thing that she was locked up in her room, for she had heard from Dobby that he had been here no less than six times, in the last month only. So, if she had been allowed downstairs or out of her room, their number would have been up pretty much immediately. All this logic and common sense did little to appease her hormone fuelled insecurities. And that was another thing.

She was almost certain she was pregnant.

Having been a long sufferer of debilitating period pains ever since the first one, she was both relieved and scared when the month passed without the usual unpleasantness. Now, it could be stress, she'd heard that that could have an effect, and she had had more than her fair share of stress lately. But she was convinced that wasn't it. Her moods had taken a sharp nose-dive when she'd realised it though. And worse still, there was no way to be one hundred percent sure. Not without visiting a healer or a muggle chemist and getting a test.

For a brief second, she'd toyed with the idea of asking one of her jailers, but dismissed it almost immediately. That request would probably go down like a lead balloon. Her credit with them was already extremely low, what with being a Slytherin and a pureblood and all. She didn't think the idea of 'I'm pregnant with my Head of House's baby' would be all that well received; call it an instinct.

But she would have to tell them eventually, as she would need to see a healer at some point. There were numerous risks involved in pregnancy, and she had no intention of endangering the life of her child, no matter how inappropriate its conception. She was too young to be a mother, it was ridiculously bad timing and the father…well…say no more.

Potter would be here in a couple of days, and she guessed that they would tell him she was here. Boy, she couldn't wait for that particular conversation. Idly, she wondered which would be worse: telling Snape he was going to be a Daddy, or telling Potter there was a Deatheater's child sheltering under the same roof as him. Perhaps they should tell them both at the same time? And arrange for the Dark Lord to be in the room too? That way, with the resulting explosion, he would be nice and toasted.

* * *

Later in the afternoon, Miharu had dozed off in her blanket, her head resting against a pillow, still tilted towards the window. Remus knocked before using his key to open the door. He entered the room with a greeting on his lips, and paused when he saw she was sleeping lightly. He closed the door behind him, and took a moment to consider the quiet young woman they had given Sanctuary to.

She had listened patiently to all of Sirius' lectures and strictures when he'd brought her here. And then again when they'd gone over it a second time that very same day, this time with Remus adding his own rules. She clearly hadn't been happy about the confinement, but had accepted it calmly and rationally. When Sirius had confirmed, rather unnecessarily, that it was for her own good, she just smiled and said 'I understand, and thank you'. Neither of them, both being fond of their own path, was prepared for such unwavering stoicism.

Consequently, they realised that Miharu was a very private person, and that her desperate request on the day of graduation had been supremely out of character for her. Unfortunately, that made Sirius even more suspicious, and he was now wondering why she was so quiet, and what she could be hiding. Remus himself wasn't sure. He did think she was hiding something, but he didn't think it was at all dangerous to them. At least, not directly. All of his sense told him she had been telling the truth when she had asked for their assistance, and her answers under the Veritaserum reinforced that feeling. But still, she was a Slytherin, and that was reason enough in Sirius' eyes to distrust her.

So, she'd been kept up here, locked away in her room, with Dobby and the few books he brought her from the library as her only distractions. Remus was starting to think that was a mistake, despite the need to keep her a secret. They could, after all, have at least visited her and talked to her. All it would require to cover themselves was one of them downstairs to field any guests, as Sirius was currently doing right now.

Even in rest, there was a slight frown on her young face, and she was deathly pale. Who wouldn't be, after a month indoors? Remus was loath to disturb her, but Harry would be arriving at the weekend, and they needed to talk to her about what they would tell him. With that in mind, he approached her slowly, and shook her shoulder gently to wake her. After a few minutes, she stirred.

"Not now…too tired…go 'way Mother…" She mumbled before turning her head away and shifting in her makeshift bed. Looking at the small window seat, Remus imagined she could not be that comfortable, and so shook her again, with a touch more force this time.

"Miss Arutani, it's Professor Lupin. Please wake up." He said in a gentle, but firm voice. She sniffed and opened her eyes, yawning widely and belatedly covering her mouth with one hand.

"Wha?" She muttered before sitting up and stretching. She peered at him for a moment before brightening. "Professor? How nice to see you! It's been…what, um…four weeks! Hello! How are you?" She said all this rapidly, in a cheerful voice, which seemed bizarrely out of place with her pallid skin and worn features. The enforced solitude had clearly been getting to her.

"I am fine, thank you Miharu. And how about you?" Remus replied politely. Miharu's frown deepened for a moment, before she sighed.

"As well as can be expected. I imagine you are here to speak about Potter's arrival?" She asked, and he nodded.

"Right now, we are in two minds of whether to tell Harry about your presence here, or not. Sirius is of the opinion that he will not take it well, and that we should continue to hide you. I, however, feel that he is far more level headed than Sirius gives him credit for, and mature enough to rise above petty school rivalries. At this time, we are at an impasse. Knowing Harry as we do though, if we are going to tell him, we must do so immediately upon his arrival, or he will take it a lot harder when he does find out. He doesn't like things being kept from him." Remus explained and the young Slytherin in front of him looked pensive.

"I...don't know how much my opinion counts here, but I say, tell him right away. He has a right to know who he is living with, and whether he is prepared to live with that person. He also needs to know what information I can give him about my parents and the other Deatheater's children. I am actually surprised that neither of you have tried to question me." Miharu said, and this time it was Remus frowning.

"It was lax of us not to try and get information from you, but for it to be useable; it would have to appear to come from a believable channel." He asserted, still wondering over such an oversight. He put it down to the fact that they had been so focused on simultaneously hiding her presence in their house, and frankly, ignoring her. He was man enough to admit that his house prejudices had got the better of him. While he had not been able to turn away a student in need, he all too often fell prey to Sirius' way of looking at things. Namely, all Slytherins were evil, and should be treated as such.

"I appreciate that. But doesn't Potter – I mean Harry – have visions of Voldemort? Couldn't he have got them from there? Or if that doesn't work, can't he invent some contact or other among the enemy, who is too jumpy to speak to anyone other than him? Something like that?" She suggested, and Remus looked thoughtful.

"Well, that would really be up to him, but I will mention it to him, if appropriate. I agree with you though, Harry does have a right to know, and, I think Sirius will agree with that reasoning as well. I'll go and speak to him now. Are you alright otherwise?" He asked, rising and heading towards the door. He paused as he stepped over the threshold, and took hold of the door handle, ready to close it.

"Other than being bored out of my brain, and possibly dieing from lack of sunlight…yeah I'm fine. But can you get me a jigsaw puzzle, or something? Or a crossword? Or maybe a Rubix Cube? I hear tell it took muggles years to solve that thing, and it's not like I'll be going anywhere any time soon!" She replied, some of her frustration and irritation at being confined with no one to talk to showing in her voice. She knew a lot about the muggle world, she'd purposely studied it, to find out more. Initially, it was from a 'know thine enemy' perspective, but after a while, she came to realise that muggles weren't lesser or inferior, just different. And different also meant interesting. Remus gave her a rueful glance, not missing the hidden meaning in her request.

"I'm sorry Miharu, but you know why it's necessary…" He began, but she cut him off.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. And this is better than the alternative, believe me. But you should know, better than most. People were not meant to be put in a cage. If they are, they either break out, or wither away." She said, not looking at him, and looking out the window. It was raining again. It seemed like the weather was matching her mood deliberately.

"I…" Remus started, but then realised there was nothing he could say. So, he quietly pulled the door closed, locked it, and walked away.

* * *

Harry arrived at Grimmauld Place on Saturday, in high spirits. Hermione had gone to France with her family, and while he would miss her, he couldn't help but be excited by the fact that she'd agreed to go out with him. They were officially girlfriend and boyfriend. He'd had doubts about saying anything, as it put her at risk, being his lover, but strangely, it was the twins who had pointed out the obvious to him.

"Er, hello? Earth to Harry, do you read me?" George had begun.

"Yeah, she'd been your best friend for seven years mate." Fred added.

"Really don't think not shagging her is going to make much difference to Old Voldy." George said wisely. Harry blinked at the simplicity of it. It was true, and there was no denying it. She was at risk either way, simply for being a muggleborn. So he decided to stop denying himself.

Choosing the direct route, as he was not one to beat about the bush anymore, he'd marched straight up to her, put one hand on either side of her face, and pulled her in for a long, passionate, and heartfelt snog. When he pulled away, they were both panting, and Hermione had a glazed look in her eyes. Her speechlessness lasted all of about five seconds, before she started berating him.

Ignoring her lecturing on his impulsiveness, and former lack of action (though how both were a sin was beyond him), he pulled her in for another soul-searing kiss, realising this was the best way to shut her up. After a while, she calmed down, and they had a relatively rational conversation, where both admitted they had secretly fancied the other for a long time, and were waiting for the other to make a move. By dinner time the whole Weasley family heard the news, and many hangover potions had to be distributed the next day.

* * *

Sirius and Remus had chuckled while Harry recounted the whole story, the three of them sat around the table in the kitchen, drinking Butterbeer.

"Well, good for you Harry-me-lad! I wondered what was taking you so long!" Declared Sirius, and Harry mock glared at him.

"Me as well. I never believed you could be so obtuse." Added Remus. Harry rolled his eyes at them and took a big swig of his drink.

"Hmmm…And I don't suppose an evil Dark Lord and his minions out for my blood is a viable excuse for putting a few things on the back burner?" He replied and the other two laughed.

"Harry, son, you will realise as you get older, that you must NEVER put women on the back burner, or they will get their revenge in scary and imaginative ways. Ways even we Marauders would shun." Sirius lectured and Harry snickered.

"Oh, he's not kidding. They do all sorts of terrible things to you…" Remus said and Harry snorted.

"Like a sex ban…or a Quidditch ban!" Sirius said, his face full of horror. Both hands flew to his face, and he sobbed melodramatically on Remus' shoulder, before the other man pushed him off with a glare.

"Yes, well, you get the point. Now, before we go over anything else, there is something we have to tell you. And I ask, please that you hear us out, all the way to the end, before you make a judgement. Can you do that Harry?" Remus asked, his face serious once again, as was his Godfather's.

"OK, sure…" Harry said, somewhat warily.

"Well, do you recognise the name Miharu Arutani?" The werewolf asked, and Harry's face scrunched up, trying to remember.

"It's a little familiar… can't put a face to it though. Hogwarts?" He replied and they both nodded.

"Actually, she was in your year, a Slytherin. She graduated same time as you, though she wasn't at the ceremony." Sirius told him and he frowned.

"Sure, so…" He prompted, and his father's best friends exchanged an uncomfortable look.

"Ah, the thing is, is that she came to us, on the last day of term, and asked for Sanctuary. She was set to marry Walden McNair, and feared for her life. Her parents are Deatheaters, but she is not." Remus began, and Sirius cut him off.

"We tested her with Veritaserum, I administered it myself." He supplied and Remus nodded. Harry's frown had deepened, but he didn't show any signs of anger as yet.

"Right, we did. And she confirmed while under its influence, that she doesn't support Voldemort, doesn't believe in his ideals or his methods, and hasn't considered joining him…" Again Remus' explanation was interrupted by Sirius.

"And most importantly, she confirmed that she wouldn't betray us for a better offer from Voldemort." He had made a point of asking her that question, and knew Harry would want to know about it.

"Alright. So why are you telling me this?" Harry asked, and then he looked at them intently for a minute. "She's here, isn't she? Where?" He demanded, rising and making his way to the stairs. Luckily, Mrs Black's portrait was covered so she didn't start screaming. Both men followed him after looking worriedly at each other.

* * *

The three of them made it to the first floor, where Harry paused. Sirius indicated that they needed to go up again, as Miharu was housed on the second floor, in the old servant's quarters. They'd charmed her room so it would be comfortable, and given her an en suite bathroom, so she wouldn't have to risk being spotted going to and from the normal one. Harry stopped again, looking for direction from the two older men.

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" Remus asked quietly. Harry nodded firmly.

"Yes, I want to meet her. Now." He replied, his tone indicating he would not be dissuaded.

"OK." Replied Remus, drawing some keys from his pocket. Harry's eyes widened at the sight of them, his thoughts going to his own childhood. He was not comfortable with the thought of someone being under lock and key, caged in a room. Sirius noticed his gaze, and shuffled his feet guiltily.

"It is for her own protection." He declared, and Harry scoffed.

"So Dumbledore doesn't find her here. He refused to help her, you see." Remus said, stopping in front of Miharu's room and knocking. They wouldn't hear her reply, thanks to the one way privacy spell which allowed sound in, but not out. He unlocked the door, and opened it, Sirius and Harry hot on his heels.

* * *

Miharu looked up at the sound of her door opening, and smiled when she saw Remus and Sirius. Her smiled faltered when she saw Harry, but he only looked back at her blankly. So, he was withholding any greeting until he'd made his decision. She couldn't fault him for it, it was a wise course of action, and it was what she would have done, in his place.

"I take it this isn't a social call?" She said tiredly, and her two ex-professors shook their heads. "Hello Potter." She offered and he 'hmphed'.

"So, tell me why you're here." Harry asked, and Miharu refrained from rolling her eyes at him. He'd clearly already had the story from his two Guardians, but she knew he wanted to hear it again so he could study her. She took a deep breath and told him the same thing she told the other two: she had no wish to die at the hands of a Deatheater.

"I see. And how long have you known you are pregnant?" Harry asked after a moment. Miharu's eyes widened in shock, as did the others.

"Pregnant?" Sirius asked weakly, and Harry nodded.

"I can see it plain as day. There's another magical signature mixed in with hers. It's small, but strong. And it's definitely a baby. Fleur looked exactly the same, last time I saw her. Though hers wasn't quite as strong. Must have been some wizard that knocked you up." Harry directed the last part at the Slytherin girl and she flinched at the harsh tone. She chided herself on reacting in such a way, after all, what did she expect from a Gryffindor? But she let go of her anger quickly. Her voluntary incarceration had worn her will down somewhat.

"Honestly? I only suspected, until now. I know I had a drunken one night stand on the last night of term, but I really don't remember all that much about it." She replied, in a weary voice.

"And was it your first time?" Harry demanded, a little cruelly.

"Harry!" Remus and Sirius admonished. He ignored the outcry of his Godparents though, and focused on the woman sitting on the window seat.

"Yeah it was. I woke up in pain, and knew what had happened. I suppose you're going to tell me now, that I deserve it, what with being a slimy Slytherin and all. Are you really that blind Potter? Or are you letting petty, childish grudges get to you? Just because my family is evil and downright disgusting, doesn't make me evil. I had a choice, and I made it. I don't regret it." Miharu said, her face proud, some of her previous determination not to die at the hands of her would be husband coming to the fore. Harry let out a long sigh, and rubbed one hand over his face. He looked around him, and saw that her bed was the closest thing to sit on. So, sitting down on one corner, he turned to face all three of them.

"No, I'm not blind. I realise that I can't tar everyone with the same brush. But this…was a shock. You really didn't know about the baby then?" He asked, and she shook her head.

"Like I said, I only suspected before." She replied and Harry faced the other two.

"I take it she didn't tell you of her suspicions?" He suggested, and they too shook their heads.

"Well, this is a fine mess. Eighteen and pregnant. Do you have any way of supporting yourself? After the War, I mean. You can stay here, of course, until then. Uh, as long as that is OK with you two?" Harry rambled, looking at the two Marauders to confirm they were OK with it.

"Of course, that's fine with us. And I must say Harry, I'm really proud of the way you're handling this. If you'd been Ron…" Remus began, but he was interrupted by Harry's bursting out into laughter. After a few moments of chortling, he suddenly sobered.

"If I had been Ron, I would have started shouting first, and asked questions later. He's a good friend, but can be terribly short sighted at times. The world, for Ronald Weasley, is black and white. I spend half my time wishing he would grow up, and the rest of the time hoping his misguided optimism never dies. Because it would take something terrible, to change him, and I hope nothing ever does." Harry supplied in a quiet voice, looking at his hands. His gaze rested on Miharu once again. He knew it was his saving people thing that was driving him to help her. He didn't deny it though, it was a part of him. "So, do you know who the father is?" He wanted to know. Immediately he noticed the shuttered look which spread across her face, before it was wiped away a few seconds later.

"I…" Her voice trailed off, as she wondered how to tell them. "…don't know." She finished in halting voice, which did nothing to portray any kind of sincerity.

"You do know, and, you think we won't like it." Harry guessed accurately. Miharu sighed, and cursed him inwardly for being too damn perceptive. Though, she hadn't played it very well. She was honest enough in herself to admit that.

"You're right. I do know, and I don't want to tell you. Is it important?" She answered and Harry shrugged.

"Not really. Does he know?" He asked, and she shook her head. Remus and Sirius exchanged a look.

"Don't you think he has a right to know, now that you're sure? I can understand maybe, that you didn't tell him while it was merely a suspicion. And that we haven't exactly allowed you to contact anyone, but you could have asked, if it was important." Remus said and Miharu frowned.

"Yes, he does have a right to know. But, we are at War. This will only be a distraction to him, and it could be fatal. Plus, I really don't think he wants to know. He doesn't give the impression that he likes kids, or wants any in the future. And, it's not like I need the financial support. My accounts are safe. From the Ministry and my parents. I have my own dealings with the Goblins." She told them and the three men thought about it for a moment. Harry got up and made his way to the door.

"Well, it's your business, and it's not essential we know who it is. I think we should talk more, but we need to find a way for it to be safe for Dumbledore to know about you. We can't keep you cooped up in here forever, it would be bad for you and the baby. And you're going to need to see a healer, soon. We'll discuss it at a later date, as there is an Order meeting in half an hour. Will you be alright, up here? Dobby can bring you dinner." Harry said, and Miharu nodded, with a small smile.

"OK then. Sirius, Remus, let's go." Harry ordered, and the two men followed with wry smiles.

* * *

_**Two months later...**_

* * *

"So, have you thought of a name yet? Do you even know the sex?" Asked Harry. Miharu smiled.

"Yes, and yes." She replied. She took a drink of her tea before continuing. "Poppy told me this morning, during my check up. It's a girl." She grinned with pride and Harry gave her a quick hug.

"Congratulations! So, a name?" He prompted, wanting to know if she'd come up with anything.

"Well, I was thinking…'Kaiya', it means forgiveness. Or maybe Namika." She said quietly, and he smiled. Not the cheeky, teasing smile he'd been wearing earlier, but a serious one.

"My friend, they're both lovely names. Either would be a good choice. I hate to be a nag, but, have you told him yet?" Harry wanted to know. Miharu winced and shifted a bit, a hand going down to the barely-there bump on her abdomen.

She was three months along now, and had, with a little help from the formidable Hogwarts Mediwitch, got past most of the nausea and cramps. Over the months she had been there, she had developed a tenuous friendship with Harry and Hermione, as well as the Weasley twins. All of them were still slightly wary of her, but she was fine with that.

Hermione and herself had bonded over Miss Marple novels, as both had an addiction to Agatha Christie. She hoped with time, they would come to trust her. For now though, she was happy with the way things were going. They were much more easy going, as people. There was no one trying to score off each other, no one was sitting around boasting about how clever they were, or how due for a good fleecing the rest of the world was, which was something that often occurred in the Slytherin common room. These guys, well, they were just nice.

"No, I haven't. He has a right to know, I realise that. And I will tell him, I just…don't know how. And I'm scared. I…" She looked away, and started wringing her hands, tension suddenly evident in her limbs.

"Miharu, I know you're afraid. I would be too in your situation. Well, if I was a girl and all that. But he does have a right to know. Listen, don't worry about it, okay? Hermione and I will be there for you. So will Sirius and Remus. Blimey! What with everyone, this child is couldn't have more Aunts and Uncles, unless it was a Weasley!" He declared, chuckling to himself.

"Yeah, thanks. I really do appreciate it. But, how do I tell him? Just walk up to him and be like, 'So, um, Professor? You remember the last day of term, where you woke up with a terrible hangover and can't remember much? Yeah, well we slept together and now I'm pregnant! Hooray for us!'" She rolled her eyes at Harry, who laughed and then they both jumped at the sudden shout in a voice they distinctly recognised.

"WHAT?!"

* * *

Both of them had forgotten that now Miharu had been given Albus' grudging approval, that she was allowed anywhere in the house. And consequently, with Order members coming and going all the time, they easily been eavesdropped on.

It had been difficult to convince him to let her stay. She had sworn a magical oath, never to reveal the secrets she learned there, and Fawkes had given her his approval. Plus, Sirius pointed out it was his house, and then involved Molly Weasley, who of course insisted that the 'poor child' simply had to stay where they could look after her and feed her properly, for the Weasley Matriarch had declared she was way too thin. Besieged on all fronts, Dumbledore had finally relented, and then interrogated her for every piece of information he thought was useful. Miharu had decided it was a small price to pay, and so did whatever she could to help.

If only it hadn't been this particular Order member, or this particular conversation which had been overheard. They turned round rather reluctantly and faced the one person they didn't want to see right then.

"Ah, Professor Snape, h-how are you?" Harry gulped. Normally he wouldn't have allowed his former teacher to cow him, having decided to stand up to him and right a few of his misconceptions. All in all, he'd done a good job of it, up until now that was. Though, no one would have blamed him, if they were in his shoes.

Severus Snape looked like a volcano that was about to erupt. No, scratch that, he looked a Hungarian Horntail in a foul mood on a bad day. Harry and Miharu exchanged worried glances, and the young Gryffindor was dismayed to see real fear in his friend's eyes. She had automatically wrapped her arms around her pregnant belly, to protect the baby from any potential threat or attack. He inched closer and tried to hide her behind his body.

"How am I? You ridiculous child?! What the fuck is going on in here?" He yelled.

"Oh dear." Harry muttered. This was really bad, if he was resorting to swearing. What a bloody mess! Evidently the shouting had got a few people's attention, as he could hear footsteps pounding up the stairs and heading in their direction. The doorway was blocked by over six foot of angry Potions Master, but Sirius and Remus pushed past him to see what was happening. The Twins were there too, and they slipped by him and crowded round the young woman on the sofa protectively.

"I repeat: what is going on in here?" Snape demanded, this time in an icy cool voice.

"Professor…" Began Harry, but Miharu cut him off.

"No, don't worry about it, it's my fault. I should have told him sooner." She declared and Harry made to protest. "No, really. Please leave us alone, all of you. This really is between the two of us. Go on, I'll be fine." She insisted, and ushered the four men out of the room, despite their dubious looks at the scowling man still standing near the doorway. Miharu sighed as she shut the door, and went back to her seat. "Please sit down Professor. I refuse to shout across the room at you. Let's at least try and conduct ourselves with a modicum of civility." She asked, though it was more of an order. After a few moments, he grunted and sat down, as far away as he possibly could. She decided just to plough on ahead while she still had the chance.

"I realise this must come as a great shock…" She began, and he snorted in disbelief. Not waiting for him to lash out, she carried on. "But, it was to me too. How much do you remember about that night? Because to be honest, I have only hazy memories. Oh, I recall speaking with you and the Headmaster, and I remember you inviting me into your rooms. Which was very kind, I thought. I digress. I remember drinking, a lot, and I…kissed you. I know that. But after that…not so much. The next thing I remember is waking up with a terrible hangover, and being naked in your bed." Here her voice trailed off as she blushed. She flicked a glance at him, and saw his scowl was still in place, though, it wasn't quite so intense. She took that as a good sign, and decided to finish her explanation.

"I knew what had happened, that we'd had sex, I mean, because, um…well…I was sore." She whispered the last word, mortified. "And there was blood…anyway. I cleaned up myself and your bed…summoned my clothes and left. I was in shock, and I had no clue what I would say to you…so I fled." She gulped around the nerves that were roiling in her stomach.

"A Slytherin retreat." He muttered, and sighed. Rubbing his hands against his face. "I…don't recall much about that evening myself. Just…flashes. I knew something had happened, when I woke up. And since I remembered you were in my room, I drew the logical conclusions. I recalled your _list,_" He fairly spat the word, "and surmised that you had used me to 'sully' yourself, thus preventing your marriage. I wondered at the time how you would prove it, without McNair discovering it for himself, but it seems you have worked that out quite well by yourself." He sneered. Miharu winced again and shook her head.

"That's…not how it was. Sure, I took the Fertility Potion before…" He cut her off, with a shout, his temper clearly rising once more. She scooted over to him quickly and placed a hand on his arm, in an effort to placate him.

"Please, listen! Let me finish! I admit I took the potion, but I took it before dinner! I was expecting to have some crass one night stand with a seventh year boy. I didn't really intend to go through with it. I just…it felt good to be doing something. By the time I was in your living room and talking with you, I had forgotten about it completely. I didn't sleep with you that night to use you. I did it because I wanted to. I was drunk, and you were being so nice, and I fancied you. So, I acted on impulse, and well…" She didn't need to finish, the consequences were obvious.

Severus was sitting forward, his face resting in his hands once again. He couldn't believe this. It was just too much to take in. How had he fucked up so badly? To have a drunken one night stand with a _student. _A seventeen year old girl. Who, admittedly was almost a woman now. But was still a fresh, young, naïve little girl. Despite the Deatheater parents. She had no business being around a jaded, cynical, angry and sarcastic old man like him. But he couldn't keep his hands to himself, and now she was having his baby. Absolutely fucking brilliant, just what he needed right now. In the middle of a bloody war.

"So, you're pregnant, and it's mine." He said, aware he was stating the obvious. "Do you know the sex?" He asked, delaying the question he knew he must ask. She was startled by the mild tone in his voice.

"Ah, yes actually, it's a girl." She replied and he smiled, a small, soft half smile.

"A girl." He repeated, still trying to get his bearings somewhat. The more he thought about it, the less angry he was becoming. In fact, this could be used to his advantage. He wanted an heir, but didn't want to saddle himself with some simpering chit. Miharu was somewhat irritating, but she was an Arutani, with hundreds of years of pureblood heritage. She had money, class, and a good education.

Plus, from what he had briefly observed, she was getting on well with the Potter brat. Could even be one of his friends. If the War went in the Light's favour, a wife and baby with one of Potter's friends would be an advantageous addition, to be used with the Ministry to ensure his freedom. Hell, they may even think of him as some soft at the heart family man, who went all out to defend his wife and child. Yes, with a few rules, this might work out nicely.

"Well, what's done is done. There's nothing we can do about it now. Not that I would have allowed a termination anyway. So, we must bond, that much is obvious. And it must remain a secret. The Dark Lord cannot know about you or the babe. You'll have to stay here, my home is not secure, nor is Hogwart's." Severus rattled off these 'commands' of his, clearly expecting her to fall in line.

"No." She said firmly, and he swung round to gaze at her. She slowly moved away from him, and back to her former position on the sofa.

"I beg your pardon?" He said dangerously, and Miharu willed herself not to let him get to her.

"No, I will not bond with you." She declared, and almost felt the temperature drop in the room as his cold, hard gaze intensified once more.

"I'm sorry, you'll have to repeat that. I could have sworn you said you would not bond with me. And that would be impossible. I must have misheard you. Because you know as well as I do, that otherwise that child would be a bastard. And it is unacceptable to have any bastards in the Snape line. Therefore you know you will marry immediately, as is proper." He said all this in a quiet voice, all the more dangerous and deadly sounding than when he was shouting. She was beginning to feel as cowed, if not more so, than before. She raised her chin defiantly though, determined not to accede to his wishes.

"My answer is still no. I care not if she is a bastard. She will not have your name, and I would rather that you don't acknowledge her publicly. I do not require any financial support from you, so there is really little reason for you to be involved. You have a right to see the child, and I will not deny you that, if you want it. But I will not be your wife. I will not be trapped in a loveless marriage with a man who can't stand the sight of me. It may not be the same sort of torture that McNair no doubt had planned, but it would be just as bad, emotionally. So, no. I will not bond with you." She said, firmly, a fierce glint in her eyes. He looked back with incredulous outrage, clearly not having listened to a word she said. Or, if he did, he didn't care.

She was clearly hoping to fall in love, or something equally ridiculous, and that would not do. No, he had use for her and her connections, as well as that spawn she was carrying. It was best to disabuse her of the notion that she could defy him right now. In time, she would thank him for opening her eyes.

"Oh, poor little Miharu! Still dreaming childish dreams of love and romance. Well, I'm afraid it doesn't work that way in the real world my dear. Prince Charming doesn't exist, and if he did, he would not be knocking on your door any time soon, I assure you. Now, I will leave you to think about this, clearly your hormones are impeding your rational capabilities. I will return later, and I expect to have your agreement. Goodbye." He declared, and before she could blink he was out of the room, billowing robes and all.

Miharu just sat there, blinking around the tears which had welled up at his thinly veiled insults. In spite of her determination that she wouldn't let him get to her, he had. Having been one of his Slytherins and not a trouble maker, she had saved herself from his legendary tongue lashings for the duration of her Hogwarts career. And now, having been on the receiving end of a rather vicious one, she felt a great deal more sympathy for her peers who had been berated by him in the past, than she would have previously been inclined to.

He was a nasty bastard, and even if she had to run forever, she would never marry him.


End file.
